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We are all here for a reason on a particular path
You don't need a curriculum to know that you are part of the math
Cats think I'm delirious, but I'm so damn serious
That's why I expose my soul to the globe, the world
I'm trying to make it better for these little boys and girls
I'm not just another individual, my spirit is a part of this
That's why I get spiritual, but I get my hymns from Him
So it's not me, it's He that's lyrical
I'm not a miracle, I'm a heaven-sent instrument
My rhythmatic regimen navigates melodic notes for your soul and your mental
That's why I'm instrumental
Vibrations is what I'm into
Yeah, I need my loot by rent day
But that is not what gives me the heart of Kunte Kinte
I'm tryina give us "us free" like Cinque
I can't stop, that's why I'm hot
Determination, dedication, motivation
I'm talking to you, my many inspirations
When I say I can't, let you or self down
If I were of the highest cliff, on the highest riff
And you slipped down the side and clinched on to your life in my grip
I would never, ever let you down
And when these words are found
Let it been known that God's penmanship has been signed with a language called love
That's why my breath is felt by the deaf
And why my words are heard and confined to the ears of the blind
I, too, dream in color and in rhyme
So I guess I'm one of a kind in a full house
Cuz whenever I open my heart, my soul, or my mouth
A touch of God reigns out
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im a nobody
but i wish i wasn't
i want to be kool and be known
but im a nobody
i want to be free
but how can i be with nobody with me
with nobody by my side
with out anyone im lost
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If I told you I loved you,
would you push me away?
Or would you let me fall into your arms,
where, forever, I would stay?
If I told you I needed you,
would you feel the same?
Could you let me need you everyday,
forever and eternally?
If I told you I hated you,
would you believe the words I say?
Would you turn your back on me
and leave me alone to pray?
If I told you I was crying,
would you be right by my side,
to put your arms around my shoulders
until the feelings pass me by?
If I told you everything,
could you still feel the same?
Now that you know exactly who I am,
would you still be mine to claim?
If I told you...
my point to this is that
we should all ask our next partner
those questions before we give them
our hearts. I trusted another with my heart
once not long ago, she mishandled it...
dropped it and broke it... fortunately,
not irreparably so. I picked it up and
took it home and now im hiding it away
for awhile, It is so damaged...
nearly destroyed... very sensitive
and fragile. I will able to put it back
together, but it will never be the same,
It's still too fragile to trust anyone,
who plays an unfair game.
i've learned that not everyone
in this world accepts us for who we
are, or what we say, or what we do
with our lifes, or even how we look
inside and out:( its sad but true!
so now i will always ask,
those questions before i give
my heart again
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so tell me how pimp this pic is
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my great grandfather once said "u and and ur generation are the smartest things in the world but it's how you use that smartness that will change the world."
they say my gifts r special
and my talents r not to b wasted
how do i know ur right wen every time look at ur eye is see frustration and reget
and u see me as nothing but a tool or a ghost
im nothing to u
but u say u love me
u say u dont know what u do with out me
but u do
and the person that tells me they love me thru the phone loves my friend
its breaks my heart to know every one is against me
but then i have friends like haley, jonathon, tyler, et and other peeps that make me smile with out saying a word
they make me feel like im flying
know that with out them i would fall
and the whole way down i wish they would come bak and never leave my side
thru my promblems thru my sadness over lost friends i see happyness lasting only 7 hours
but it seems like 4 ever
im nothing with out the little friends that i have
and im nothing with out the wisdom of my great grandfather
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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:04 pm. |
| Mood: |  w/e. | | Music: | thug mashion by tupac. |
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good things take time
great things happen all at once
why is it so easy to hurt someone...
but so hard to make up?
why is it so hard to tell the truth...
yet so easy to tell a lie?
why do we sleep in the church...
but when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
why is it so hard to talk about God...
but so easy to talk about sex?
why are we so bored to look at a Christian magazine...
but so easy to read a playboy or playgirl magazine?
why is it so easy to delete a godly offline messages ...
yet we forward the nasty ones?
why are churches getting smaller...
but yet bars and clubs are growing??
think about it
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sum kewl pics lol my sis is a good cam person
1st im kewl cuz i take pics like this lol
2ndI WASN'T READY LOL
3rdthose who hide their faces survive the longest
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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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why would you look for something you can't find
why look 4 something that doesn't exist
some one who has little understanding of themselves they tend to have little respect for themselves
sooner or later we will discover things about ourselves that we don't like
the wise are who they are
in each of us there is something special that we need 2 keep
don't force things just let them be
if you have faith in you and ur abilities you will be ok
cleverness takes all the credit it can
desire is what you want not what it is
when u try 2 hard it mostly doesn't work
"I think therefore I am confused"
u dont have to try very hard to make stuff work
if u are in tone with the way things work, they work the way they need 2 no matter what you may think at the time
u know the way things work but u go against it
if time saving devices really saved time, there would b more time available to us now then ever before in history but strangly enough, we seem to have less time than even a few years ago
you can't save time you can only spend it
if we add up all the rewards n our lives, we won't have very much but if we add up the spaces between the rewards, we'll come up with quite a bit and if we add up the rewards and the spaces then we'll have everything
if we do things n the wrong sort of way, it makes us miserable, angry, confused, and things like that
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you know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead
why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die
why am i dying to live if im just living to die
every moment every second i try to keep it inside- mine
the world ain't get'n no better so why cry -mine
people laugh'n while constantly movin while makin millions-half of mine
but nobody know how it is to Witnes killings- half of mine
feel'n bad while leavin dead bodies in abandoned buildings-half of mine
More bodies being buried -- I'm losing my homies in a hurry
They're relocating to the cemetary
dont judge people cuz nobody knows how that shit feels like i do and when u judge people it makes all those bad memories come bak and it hurts like tupac said "only god can judge me"
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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
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A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and
he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
The case came before the court, and when asked why he acted in
such a manner, the man replied, "When the lady boarded the bus I
could not help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an
advertisement which read, coming soon: The Gold Dust Twins.'
Then she moved under one that read, Sloan's Liniments Remove
Swelling.' I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving
advertisement which read, William's Stick Did The Trick.' Then
I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move
she sat under an advertisement which read, Dunlap Rubber would
have prevented this accident." He won the case.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH FUNNY SHIT HAHAHA
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| Time: | 9:38 pm. |
| Mood: |  uh. |
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O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths--for you the shores
a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck
You've fallen cold and dead.
My captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
A friend is like a flower,
a rose to be exact,
Or maybe like a brand new gate
that never comes unlatched.
A friend is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
you'r my friend and that is true,
but the gift was given from me to you.
we went thru moments that were good and bad,
even moments that were happy and sad.
you suported me when i was in tears,
we stuck together when we were in fear,
its really sad that it had to be this way,
but it has reached its very last day.
miles away cant keep us apart,
'cause you'll always be in my heart
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| Subject: | wow |
| Time: | 12:01 am. |
| Mood: | whatever u want it to b. |
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i dont understand how sum girls can turn from kool to a bitch lol beats me lol haley u rock and sum pics of me
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Thursday, March 17th, 2005
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this is what nicole said when she commented on my last journal entry:
Your love just hurts me.
For it isn't love at all.
I wish it was, but I have been dishonest.
You love what you think I am.
<<[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<sry [...] from(found>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] this is what nicole said when she commented on my last journal entry:
Your love just hurts me.
For it isn't love at all.
I wish it was, but I have been dishonest.
You love what you think I am.
<<<sry to huever i stoll that from(found it in sm1s lj)>>>...adn sry julian......
that exactly how i feel tho...u luv wut u think i am but u dotn no me.
....sry jj
well this is how i feel:
I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space
Cause now you have no interest in anything I have to say
And I have allowed you to make me feel dumb
What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside
You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we had three hour talks
Tell me why
I want to talk to u
Does she walk with the pain that I do
But now when we're face to talk you won't reply
No time no friendship no laughs
Don't say don't talk to u I can't talk to u no more
Can't talk to u any more
thats how i feel nicloe u ask if what u did was right cuz what you did was wrong the way u ended it was wrong the way you responded was wrong but now just like every other friend i have lost i have to forget all about you which hurts so bad inside because u were a really good friend |
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Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
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im bored so i took sum pics have fun lol
wats good
da tightest pic ever
i slang in my white tee
i luv this girls they rock my socks
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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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sexi peeps alive lol
merci and haley rock my socks lol
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| Subject: | hehehe |
| Time: | 1:26 pm. |
| Mood: |  yeaa boooooooi no worries 2day. | | Music: | number one spot by ludacris. |
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sum funny pics of me and my friends
thats suppose to be westside lol
come get sum yummmm
peter lol
ur face affects me lol
fucked up pic of me
TYLER YAAAAAAAA LOL
"im from the mid west" HAHAHAHAHAHAH
i swear im not high
wats good
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| Time: | 4:31 pm. |
| Mood: |  AGAIN. | | Music: | black cotten by tupac. |
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im sitting here thinking is life what everyone thinks it is that its sum world were every one is happy and no promblems ever occur but i am beginning to hate those people some one needs to show the world that life is a bitch yes there are good things in life but u have to work to earn those things some never get those things some have missed up lifes some have it so bad that everytime they turn around something bad happens to them wither its gossip, family, drugs in the family (not me), divorce, or always getting in troubl over the smallest things life sometimes take away what you love deeply something or someone that means the world to you and poof just like that life takes them away from you they go on and make new friends not even thinking about you while you r at home thinking and suffering over them i wish that this intry was not about me i wish this intry was life in someones elses eyes im feeling really bad these days but like tupac said life's a bitch and the only way to survive is to fight so im going to keep fighting and try to make my family and friends pround of me and mayb i wont have to try so hard to have people notice me anyways im out peace
the girl in the blue jacket: i miss sooooooooooo bad i luv u girl
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this is for all the lovers out there you only get one shot and i think i missed mine so read this and take it serious
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't? or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own....when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. * What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? *What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? *What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?* People live, but people die.
And I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow , you would be in my heart!!! Would I be in yours? If you care about me as much as I care about you, you will send this back. You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you if you consider them a friend as well. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend,
someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and .. always will.. I LOVE YOU!!!!
Send this to all the friends that you have...all the friends that you've lost...and to all the friends you've lost touch with...just to let them know that you care..
If you got this email, it means that the person who sent it to you loves you and always will, no matter what.
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its 10:38 and i need something to do i guess this is a time to share what i want u know like a cofession sorta of i feel really sad cuz i feel like i lost two of my best friends but i have learned thru life that the bad times only make u a stronger person even tho im suffering inside i can't show it outside my whole life is a big pain and all i can do to make myslef feel better sumtimes is talk to my friends but since my mom is mad about my previous grades i have no social life anymore my mom got a huge reality check today when my report card came in and showed A's and B's im tired of grades i want to have times with my friends that i have always dreamed of but for sum reason i feel like every one is play'n me cuz i never get invited to hang out with friends from skool at century or whatever sum times i feel like my best friend jonathon is the only person i can hang out with and talk to him about the bad shit in my life sure people say they luv me (friendly way) but i wonder if they really mean it do they see some boy who is an outcast and they pretend like they r his friends i dont know sumtimes i feel like the whole world is aggainst me like nobody wants to see me succeed im done for now but i wish i had more people to talk to i have no idea why i dont get invited to hang out or nobody is calling me daily but like i said this has happend ALL my life so i guess im used to it
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Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
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yo was up i'm srry i havn't posted in a long time i had alot of work to do anyways i miss nicole and maxine soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad it's not even funny i wish i could talk online again but my mom wont let me but anyways maxine or nicole if u r reading this i miss ya'll and call me sum time if u want 323 971 4809 so yea peace
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wadup's journal
hey baby girl lol jp jp.